If I’m so smart, why am I still so unhappy?

They say that one can’t truly have it all, but does this include happiness too? Isn’t this notion a little too cruel? And does this apply to you too?

Are you a perfect A student or the employee of the year yet you’re unhappy? Well you’re not alone. Studies reveal that smart people tend to be more unhappy than others.
What’s the reason for this? Is it something you’re doing or something you’re not? In this article, we’ll find out the reasons for this and how to change your narrative to a happier, more positive one.

Without further ado, here are some reasons why many smart people are unhappy.

  1. People expect a lot from you.

    Because you are intelligent, people put a lot of pressure and expectations on you. Every decision you make is highly scrutinised by your parents, relatives and coworkers.

    Therefore, being smart becomes your identity and the drive of your life. In work places, your boss will opt to give you more work than others because you are “smart and can handle it.”

    This in turn drains the life out of you.

    Each time you fall short, comments such as “ You were so smart, what happened?” may follow and as a result, anxiety, stress and fear or failure develops.

    How to overcome this
    The best way to overcome this is not biting off more than you can chew. It’s okay and you’re allowed to say no when people put additional tasks on you. Just do what is required of you and let the rest be delegated to other people in the company.

    Another way is choosing not to care what people think of you. Easier said than done right? This is something you have to consciously do over a period of time until you master it.

    People will keep talking, you don’t have to do what they say, learn to sieve the good from the chaff. Remember that your opinion and intuition is what matters the most.

  2. You Neglect your Mental Health

    Mental health is a topic that has been addressed many times in the 21st Century, especially in the past few years. And just like where there’s smoke there’s fire,there is indeed good reason to highlight this.

    There’s no doubt that studying and getting A’s are great, they open numerous career doors for you. However, all that can crumble down like a brick of walls when your mental health is in shambles.

    A lot of smart people have trouble asking for help.They’d rather try and figure things out than share their troubles from others. And it’s not because they see the rest of the world as beneath them, but because they’re expected to have a rosy life.

    Each day people view them with rose-tinted glasses, and if they ask for help, they’d be shattering the perfect image they hold in the minds of many.

    How to overcome
    In order to be truly happy, you need to prioritise your mental health.
    Make time to practice meditation each day. It helps centre your thoughts and keeps anxiety at bay as you are in control of what goes on up there.

    Another method is to have a support group or a trust-worthy person you can turn to when you need to talk. It’s okay to ask for help. It doesn’t make you any less capable or less smart.

    At the end of the day, we are human despite our intelligence levels, and we need each other.

  3. You’re too Future-Oriented.

    Highly intelligent people tend to be too future-oriented. Whereas this makes you a highly efficient planner and good financial strategist, this makes you lose touch of reality.

    You’re constantly thinking about how the future will be and making plans for rainy days. This leads to you voluntarily taking up extra work, side hustles and working yourself till you’re dog-tired.

    As a result, you may disregard important milestones of the people you love because of work.This leads to a strain in your personal relationships.

    How to overcome
    You can start by acknowledging that you can’t fully control the future and that’s okay. Instead, focus more on what you can control, the present, and train your mind to return when it drifts too far into the future.

    Don’t put work before a child’s birthday party or a friend’s wedding. It’s all about finding a balance between these two areas of your life because each is equally as important. Make time for little pleasures of life, smell the roses and watch your happiness return to you.

  4. You easily get bored.

    Are you always looking for the next best thing? The next exciting thing or flashy thing? This might be because you get bored easily.
    A good scenario is how a baby quickly loses interest in a toy and the parents have to get them a different one.

    This trait can be very detrimental to your romantic relationships. After a while, you get tired of your partner and mentally drift from the relationship. The other partner is left wondering what they did wrong as they struggle to hold up the relationship.

    This also affects your work life. When you easily get bored, you tend to leave tasks mid-way and when dawn comes, you’re left with many unfinished tasks.

    How to overcome
    When a task starts being boring and you feel the need to put it down, remind yourself that it is worth your time. Treat it with importance and see to it till the end. Once you do so, you’ll feel proud of yourself for achieving the milestone.

    In a relationship setup, try new things with your partner. This might be a new restaurant or even a new hobby like a salsa class.

    When you actively look for new aspects of tackling the same task and by seeing new sides of your partner, you’ll be less likely to be bored.

Final thoughts

The things people regret the most on their deathbeds is not what they did but what they didn’t do. It’s Ever heard that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jane a dull girl.

So don’t rob yourself of your youth on the excuse of being smart. You deserve to be happy and shouldn’t be miserable just because you’re smart. All the best.

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